I hate everything!

Well, today is going to be long...
 
It's that day where I don't want anyone to talk to me because I'm too depressed, sad, emotional and think no one gives a shit.  I wanna crawl into a ball and cry myself to death if that's possible. Happens all to often.  Today is one of those days I feel like it isn't even worth living :/  These are the times I need anyone to acknowledge me even God himself.  Contradiction I know.

THIS EXPLAINS TODAY

Anger and depression stage

Denial is a very common problem, but eventually it breaks down. Head injury problems just don't go away. The same problems happen over and over and over again. This leads to the next phase, in which the person has a limited awareness of the head injury, beginning what I call the depression/anger phase. When you realize you are different and can't do things like you used to, you may become angry or depressed. In many ways, anger and depression share a lot in common. Some people think of depression as anger at oneself, a kind of anger turned inward. A lot of people who are depressed will say to themselves, "I'm a failure. I can't do this. I'm no good." On the other hand, people who are struggling to deal with the vast changes produced by a head injury may get angry at people around them. They may see people as not being supportive of them or not understanding their head injury. Some of this anger may also be due to the head injury. They'll notice that this anger comes on extremely quickly and also goes away just as quickly. That's due to the head injury. The sections of the brain that control those emotions have been injured.

Not all of this anger or depression is due to physical changes in the brain. Instead, we're talking about an emotional way of coping with things. Virtually all people who go through a serious illness or injury will have some anger and depression. If it is a car accident, they may be angry at the person who ran into them. They may be angry at themselves for getting into an accident. Sometimes it is justified, such as in a case where a person has been drinking and driving, resulting in a head injury. Sometimes they unreasonably blame themselves--"If I had only left my house five minutes later or five minutes earlier, I wouldn't be in this mess." There was no way of knowing that an accident would happen. When we have difficulty dealing with overwhelming situations, we often go back and blame ourselves. That's a very common reaction. Many religious people become angry at God--Why would God want me to suffer? They may question their faith, or wonder why God is so vindictive. Just about everybody goes through this cycling pattern, becoming depressed or angry. This can go back and forth; some people never move on to the next phase.