Part 2- The first day of the rest of my life

Everyone has asked, "Did I see the light?," "How was it?"
The answers are: 
I kinda did see the light but in a different way then you would think.
Part of my dream there was a flood and I was in this water falling further down, with broken glass, wood, bodies, everything floating in it. And I was about to take my last breath, but then this person or thing saved me and as I was being pulled out of the water I seen a bright light above me.

How was it? ...

Well let me tell you it was the most horrible thing in the world, your stuck in an awful dream that you cannot get out of and at the time you don't know why. Everything in your dreams are so real. I was  tortured, cut up, people drugged me, tied me down, I seen family and friends get killed right in front of my eyes (every time they were trying to save me), trust me things you never would want to even imagine, the worst nightmares ever that all seem real and lucid.
(the nurses did say part of the dreams were reality being pushed together and my mind perceiving them differently)
Anyways on with the story...as what I have pieced together. Like I said it might not all be word for word.
Saturday Feb. 2, after I had Sage I was put in the ICU, I was fine and awake again on Sunday. I was writing to people. but then at about 4pm that evening is when everything went for the worst. I was loosing too much oxygen so I was put in a drug induced coma because I couldn't breathe on my own. (ventilator) Also I was put on full life support.

Here are some letters from a person that is very close to me....

1 Feb 4
Shereen,
I know you are in the hospital right now, but I wanted to write you a letter telling you how much I appreciate you as my friend. The past couple of months we have grown alot closer and I am so glad. I am so happy I got to be apart of sages blessing into the world. I am also so happy for you to be a new mommy. I know you will be great, you are such a great person and I am so sorry I questioned alot about you before. I don't know what I would do without you. Please pull through this, I will help you with anything you need. I want you to know that.... You are in mine and many other peoples prayers... And I know god is also watching over you too. So I want you to know you are a best friend I could ever ask for I don't want to lose you. I love you, and I'm sorry it came down to whats been going on for me to say it, its just that we have just starting becoming the best friends that we knew we could have.. Well I will see you in the morning. Please stay strong.
Love you,

2 Feb 11
Hey sweety,
well you have been in the intensive care unit for 8 days now, but all is going a little better. I visited you today and you were looking alot better. They are going to stick a feeding tube in today so hopefully you won't be sooo starving. I just want to let you know that I am so happy you are strong and want to pull through. For a couple days we didn't think you were going to make it. You were so sick, you are still sick but not like you were. Well you are getting better day by day. I hope you know this is a big reality check, I love you alot, I realized that you are one of my best friends and I don't know what I would do with out you. You are a great person and will be a great mother. I never want to lose you as a friend and I cherish everything you have done for me as well. Its looking better and I cant wait until you can come home. Well keep up the good work and you will out of there in no time.
Love always,
ps. You have a lot of support behind you, alot more than you thought!

In between the next letter I ended up getting A.R.D.S.
Acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS) acute respiratory distress syndrome, is a lung condition that leads to low oxygen levels in the blood.. Inciting events include: Trauma, sepsis, aspiration (fluid entering the lungs) <--- (which was caused by the step pneumonia) ARDS in a nut shell....Too much fluid is leaked into the lungs causing them to collapse and fail.


The I ended up getting Sepsis, which is very normal for a person with A.R.D.S.
Sepsis is a condition in which the body is fighting a severe infection that has spread via the bloodstream. If a patient becomes "septic," they will likely be in a state of low blood pressure termed "shock." This condition can develop either as a result of the body's own defense system or from toxic substances made by the infecting agent (such as a bacteria (strep pneumonia) <---, virus, or fungus).

Somewhere in between here they ended up having to turn me on my stomach for about two weeks. They did this to get the fluid out of my lungs in places they could not so I could get my oxygen on the ventilator. (When they did this they also knew there would be long term consequences to this, but the state I was in it was this or death)
At times I dropped to 20% oxygen, which is brain damage level. My body was a mess from the infections. My blood pressure was always too low, and the doctors were fighting to keep the Sepsis from getting to my kidney.

3 Feb 20
Well today is 17, you have been on life support for 2 1/2 weeks. We are all praying and hope you come out of this. You were tooken off the paralytic yesterday and have done pretty good tolerating it. I hope you know that I have been dealing with everyone trying to get temporary custody of Sage. As far as I would think you would want me to have him but I'm soo sorry I am pretty much screwed. I have no chance because I'm not blood and I am nothing. I don't want to stress you out. I will get him in time when they actually acknowledge that Jason is the father. But don't worry all will work out when you get out. Yesterday we had meeting with the doctor for the 1st time. He told us the overview on what happened with your body. He said most cases with ards(acute respiratory distress syndrome) have a 60% chance of living. I have faith in you and know you are such a strong person. Just seeing you open your eyes will make me the happiest person alive. I love you so much PLEASE STAY STRONG!
Love your bestest friend,

4 Feb 21
Hey hun,
I just wanted to let you know that kami and I went to see you tonight its Thursday the 21st and you have been in there for 19 days. You have been off the paralytic for almost 3 days now. I have so much hope for you. Tonight you tried to move your eyes which made me so happy. I know you were listening to me I could just tell. You were wearing some weird furry boots, I guess they help so you don't have to have as much therapy when you get out. I am so happy,I know you will pull through for all of us. Your such a great friend.
I love ya lots, STAY STRONG!

Those furry boots are also to help so when your legs so when they are deterating, your feet don't go flat agaisnt the bed causing Foot drop. 

Foot drop is caused by weakness or paralysis of the muscles involved in lifting the front part of the foot. The underlying causes of foot drop are varied and may include:

• Nerve injury. The most common cause of foot drop is compression of the nerve that controls the muscles involved in lifting the foot. This can happen at the knee or in the lower spine.

AT this point I will be making a Part 3 After I woke up.

Thanks for reading and showing your support!